Nov
15

Addiction: Going From Frantic To Free!!!!!

By

Addiction: Going From Frantic To Free!!!!

by Jonathan Lederman- Media Director – The Addict’s Mom – www.addictsmom.com

I have  visited www.addictsmom.com and have also visited The Facebook Groups Addict’s Mom and Addict’s Mom 2 and have  read the stories of the trials and tribulations that the mothers are going through with their addicted children. I usually respond with sending prayers and a hug filled with hope and healing. Today (11/15/12) I was struck by how many mothers seemed to be frantic and at wits end with dealing with the addict. I must have  read I have  had enough of this 10 times today, thus I decided to write this entry Going From Frantic To Free.

 The first step in going from frantic to free is to understand that you are powerless over the addiction and the addict. As much as you want to have the addict in recovery and staying clean and sober it has to be the desire of the addict to do this not yours. After you realize you are powerless over the addiction and the addict then it is time to breathe and let things go. If your addict is over 18 it is time to say you are on your own and let them go about their life allowing the chips to fall where they may. They may not like this but it is the best thing you can do as it frees you to go about what you desire to do and not be burdened by someone elses poor choices. If your addict is under 18 it is time to stop trying to be their friend and get tough setting and sticking with boundaries.  If they say you can’t do that be tough and say I just did if they run away report them missing and let the drama go. This sounds harsh and it is however the best way to deal with an addict is to be tough and set boundaries. As a parent you need to stop rescuing the kids and allow them to figure it out for themselves. I am not saying don’t show love and compassion I am saying be their emotionally with encouragement for their recovery but stop the financial support.  By doing this you will go from frantic to free.

 The second step is setting boundaries. Allison Botke’s book may assist you in setting the boundaries that will enable you to go from frantic to free. If you tell your addict you will not take their calls while they are in jail and won’t see them until they have 30 days clean don’t give in because you are feeling guilty stick to the boundaries and you will find that you have gone from frantic to free.  If you tell them they can’t come to the house and they show up take the appropriate measures so they don’t come to the house.

 The third step is to take care of yourself and to remind yourself you are special and to do things to make you feel special.If you like excercising then take time to exercise. If you like to meditate take time to meditate. If you enjoy a nice meal treat your self to a nice meal. The idea is to take care of yourself and realize you are a loving kind individual who deserves to be respected and loved.

 The fourth step to going from frantic to free is to stop playing the blame game.Stop beating yourself up and wondering if you could have done things differently for you did the best you could with the tools that you had. Stop blaming the addict because of poor choices made. The idea is to stop pointing fingers use a bit of tough love tempered with the proper amount of emotional support and you will go from frantic to free.

 The final step is to realize your spirituality and the fact that you are a divine being with a purpose. You possess the key to unlock your freedom. Your power lies within you to make a positive change so you can go from frantic to free. The spiritual awakening will alow you to make clearer decisions based on your heart and not your emotional attachment to the situation. By evolving in your spirituality you will begin to understand why you are doing what you are doing. The guidance you receive from spirit will direct you to the tools to go from frantic to free.

Addiction: Tools For Going From Frantic To Free

iWant: My Journey from Addiction and Overconsumption to a Simpler, Honest Life
There are many books that can help you go from frantic to free.
I have found that music is a great tool to help you go from frantic to free.


Please share your story of going from frantic to free here.

 

Comments

  1. Daisie says:

    Good stuff. I’ve incorporated the SANITY rule with my 30 adult addicyrd son.

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge
UA-25348780-1