Jul
17

Addiction: Wiping Away The Tears and Moving Forward!!!!

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Addiction: Wiping Away The Tears and Moving Forward!!!!

Glee actor Cory Monteith has died at the age 31, it has been confirmed ... The news of Cory Monteith’s death from an overdose came across the TV the other day and I immediately thought another lost to drugs, Why? Cory was 31 and seemed to have it all, but that didn’t stop him from using and overdosing. I then thought of all the parents who have lost a son or daughter to drugs or alcohol and how they are wiping away the tears and moving forward. It takes a lot of courage and strength to come out and say my son or my daughter was an addict and overdosed or my son or daughter had too much to drink and decided to drive and was killed in a car crash.  The first step to wiping away the tears and moving forward is coming to grips with the loss of a child and then turning the tragedy of losing a son or daughter into a positive by educating others and stopping their children from getting caught up in the cycle of addiction.  In her book Turning Loss Into Joy Vashon Marie Sarkisian gives the reader seven steps to heal the pain.

Accepting the loss and not blaming yourself is a step to help wipe away the tears and move forward. Understanding that you did what you believed in your heart to be right is the only solace that you need. By moving forward you do not erase the pain but you find ways to ease it, be it volunteering at  a local rehab center, starting a scholarship in memory of your son or daughter,  Sharing your stories to help others, or sitting in prayer will assist you in the process of dealing with the loss of your son or daughter.

 You may be asking what about have a son or a daughter that is an addict that is still living or how do I wipe away the tears and move forward? I was on the free membership site www.addictsmom.com and I saw many of the stories from the mothers of addicted children and how they were struggling with what to do to help their addict. The truth is there is nothing you can do until the addict understands that they have a problem and they seek to fix it. Some of the mothers told stories of how they cry everyday over their addicted child and my response was it is time to wipe away the tears and move forward. Many found this to be harsh, however the fact remains that your son or daughter became an addict and until they are willing to change nothing will change. The same goes for you as a parent until you change nothing will change. Until you accept the fact that there is nothing you can do or say that will change your addict until the addict wants to change this problem will escalate and bring you down as well as bringing the addict down.  You can make all the declarations to the addict but until you really follow through and keep those boundaries they will not change. Ask yourself how many times have I given them money, bought them items they requested, or made excuses. Then stop doing that and understand the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.  Your son or daughter  needs to wipe away the tears, stop playing the poor me game and move forward. You as a parent must stop trying to be the solution and allow the child to find their way as you also wipe away the tears and move forward.

Addiction: Tools To Help You Wipe Away The Tears And Move Forward

  Many of the posts I read at The Addict’s Mom are about the tears that mothers have shed over their addicted child. Every now and then I will read a story of a mother who wiped away the tears and is moving forward. She will attribute this to the help of other mothers and a coach or counselor. One tool to use is to have a coach or counselor that will allow you to peel back the onion and heal the pain. Remember crying can be very cleansing and cathartic, however when you are done crying wipe away the tears and move forward.

     I have found that bible verses are a good tool to help wipe away tears and move forward.

  Affirmations like the ones above make for a great reminder of wiping away the tears and moving forward.

Song are often a good way to wipe away the tears and move forward.

 This week may you find strength, courage, and love. Stay Positive!!!

 

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