Archive for Preventation

Addiction: Stopping The Emotional Roller Coaster!!!!

 

  Have you felt like you are riding an emotional roller coaster when dealing with the fact that your child is an addict? Do you feel like you are going in circles in dealing with the issue? Well you are not alone. When you visit www.addictsmom.com you will see that there are many mothers going through the same trials and tribulations that you are going through. As I read the stories at www.addictsmom.com I began to see a common thread of mothers as they are riding an emotional roller coaster. This brought to mind the question how do you stop the emotional roller coaster.

   You can simply wait until the addict puts on the brakes and stops or you can be proactive and set boundaries.  By being proactive and setting and sticking to boundaries you will be able to stop the emotional roller coaster. As you stop the emotional roller coaster you start to become healthier and your dealings with the addict becomes easier. Detaching the emotional charges associated with the situation will help to distress the situation  because you step into your power and stop the emotional roller coaster.  Remind yourself that the roller coaster has come to a stop and it is now time to get off and exit. Read More→

Apr
17

Addiction: Be A Believer!!!

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Addiction: Be A Believer!!!

 

 As I thought about what to write today I found The Monkees, I Am A Believer, and I thought what a great message to send to parents of addicts because we all need something or someone to believe in. Most addicts are looking for someone who will believe in them and if you become that believer you may just put them on a path to recovery. You can verbalize your feelings, send cards, and show them support emotionally not financially to show that you believe in them. Many addicts become addicts because they didn’t believe in themselves and had no one believing in them. All people are looking for one thing and that is to be loved and if they don’t get it at home or school they turn to other means such as drugs. The drugs mask the pain but it feels so good that the addict continues to use to escape the issues that have created the problem. The key is to do your best to overcome the problem by being a believer.

 As I searched for ways to convey the message of being a believer I came across this Air Supply song, Someone Who Believes in You.  I thought what if you made this pledge before your child began using and you really meant it and you were their in a loving way not an enabling way. If your child begins to use you can play this song and make a pledge and have the child also sign the pledge to be there for you as well. As a parent it is important to remember you made a conscious decision to bring a child into the world and that until they reach the age of adult hood you have some type of responsibility to keep them healthy and safe. This is not done by spoiling them or over indulging them this is done by be a loving parent who understands you are not there to be a friend to your child but to be the one who will guide them and lift them. When a child makes a good choice praise them and when they make a bad choice in your eyes stay calm and explain why it was a bad choice. Many times they will not process what you are saying and think you are getting on them because the synapses and the judgment part of their brain has not developed fully yet. There is a website www.strongforparenting.com that can help you become a believer. Read More→

Apr
03

Addiction: Making Things Better!!!

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Addiction: Making Things Better!!!

 

 As I was searching for what to write about today I found this ELO Song and  it reminded me that things get better if we take the steps to make them better. Things may seem tough and you may feel distraught, however you can take solace in the knowledge that you have the power to make things better. In many cases it takes making a difficult decision such as letting go and letting GOD.  When things seem tough I recite the following so as to find strength to make things better:

 

 In order to make things better we must understand there are certain thing we can not change and certain things we can change. We have the power to change the way we think and react to a certain situation. We have the power to remove things and people who no longer serve us from out lives so we can make things better.  We can take the first step and realize that there is a problem and we can then choose to be part of the problem and keep adding fuel to the fire and allow it to burn out of control or we can come up with a plan to change the situation and fan the flames so that they burn out. Read More→

Addiction:Les Brown Delivers Message Of Hope And Healing!

    As I sat in the audience of The Superstar Summit on 3/2/13 listening to Les Brown one thing truly stood out as he asked us to turn to the people sitting around us and say I believe in you, you have greatness inside of you. I started to think as I recited this to the people sitting around me and receiving their recitation of these words, did you as a mother ever say these words to your child and did you reinforce the words with your actions. Les continued to encourage the audience to share their stories and shine their light for others to see. I then thought wow that is what www.addictsmom.com, a FREE Membership Site for mothers of addicts to share without shame, find resources, and see that they are not alone, is all about.  Les’s message of coming from humble beginnings to where he is today  showed me that life is a journey and that there will be stumbling blocks, however as Les said if you get knocked down hope that you land on your back because if you can look up you can get up.

Addiction: Taking Action on Les Brown’s Message

   As a mother of an addict you may feel like you are getting knocked down a lot. The key is to take action to get back up and continue the battle. In some cases the biggest defeat in your life has occurred with the loss of a child to addiction. No mother should ever have to outlive their child. The death of a child for any reason carries a tremendous amount of grief and hurt and it takes time to heal. The healing process begins when you begin to erase the guilt you feel and stop blaming yourself for the outcome. As you begin to release the negative emotional charge associated with the addict you begin to become healthier is your coping with the fact that your son or daughter is an addict. One way to remove the negative emotional charge is to write down all the guilty feelings, the negative thoughts, and any other thoughts about the situation and then put the paper in a planter, a coffee can, or other burning device and set it a blaze. After it burns out and cools dump it out on the grass and let the wind scatter it as this will allow you to let go of the negative emotional baggage and thus give you a chance to move forward and help others that may be experiencing the same challenges you faced in having an addicted child. Read More→

Addiction: Yellow Ribbons, Yellow Flags, And Hope

 

 Tony Orlando and Dawn’s song Tie A Yellow Ribbon has become an anthem to welcome those returning home. The yellow ribbon on the tree has come to symbolize a love and desire to have the person returning involved in the family. For mothers of addicts they want a clean and sober addict to return home and for the addict they want a caring mother to welcome them with open arms and a whole lot of love. The most difficult task for a mother of an addict is to accept that was has been done is done, the future is uncertain, so accept the moment. A mother of an addict can tie that yellow ribbon and hope for the best. The mother must first and foremost take care of themself by reminding themself that she is special and that she deserves love and respect. Read More→

Addiction: Be The President Of Your Life!!!!

    On Monday 2/18/2013 the country celebrated President’s Day, which originally was the combining of  Lincoln’s Birthday and Washington’s Birthday. The holiday today celebrates all presidents. This inspired to write this entry today to help you to be the president of your life. As I visited www.addictsmom.com, a FREE Membership Site where mothers of addicts can come together and share without shame, find resources, and see that they are not alone I saw many stories of mothers who are at a crossroads in their life and really should take charge of their life and begin to put themselves first. So many of the stories focused on what their child was going through and how they could fix it? The harsh reality is you can’t. The addict has to be the one who fixes it. Many of the mothers told stories of how they are so fraught with despair that they are unable to do for themselves. As I read I kept thinking it is your life be the president of your life. Make an executive order to put yourself first because you can not help others if you aren’t helping yourself.

 One way to help yourself is to visit www.addictsmom.com and see how other mothers are putting themselves first. It is important to take control of your life and understand the addict is going to do what they are going to do. You can not live their life. You can give them all the advice in the world, you can give them emotional and spiritual support, you can even help financially, however until they are fully committed to the process of getting clean it will remain a revolving door. The harsh reality is that you did not cause the addiction the addict made the choice to use and they now have a choice to keep using or to stop? The addict is also the president of their life. Read More→

Addiction: Dallas Cowboys Tragedy Serves As Wake Up Call!!!

  Josh Brent and Jerry Brown had the world in the palm of their hands as it seemed to the fans of The NFL Dallas Cowboys. As many NFL Players they enjoyed the night life and on a fateful night (12/8/12) hours before they were scheduled to play a game Josh Brent would have too much to drink and attempt to drive his car with Jerry Brown as a passenger then it would happen the car would hit a guard rail flip over killing Jerry Brown and leaving Josh Brent charged with Intoxication Man-Slaughter. Josh would make bond shortly after the Cowboys defeated The Bengals 20-19 on 12/9/10.  Josh Brent now faces criminal charges and jail time and his live is now forever changed as a result of making a poor decision. This story serves as a wake-up call to everyone to first not drink and drive and second not to get in a car with someone who has been drinking. The real tragedy is that this could have been avoided if both players had used better judgement and instead of partying the night before the game they were preparing mentally and getting their mind and body prepared to play a game that they get paid handsomely to play. Josh would have been the starting Nose Tackle. Jerry Brown was on the practice squad and quickly making his way up the depth chart.  Every player knows about the number they can call to get a ride. Many like Josh Brent choose not to use that service because of fear of embarrassment or repercussions from the team.

 Josh Brent is not the first one and unfortunately will not be the last one to be charged with Intoxication Man-Slaughter. While playing for The Cleveland Browns Donte Stallworth was driving in Miami when his car struck and killed a pedestrian. Donte served some jail time and today is still playing in The NFL. I ask what message does this send to our society? Read More→

Addiction: Breaking The Grip: Focus on Prevention!!!

           

 

Today I went to www.addictioninfo.org to research information for this blog so as to be of service and value to the readers who may be facing the challenges of having an addict in their life. I found an article about the health risks of smoking, a controversial article about the use of a prescription drug to replace the addiction of another drug,  and an article on why cancer patients can’t stop smoking. As I read these articles I began to think of what can a parent do to alleviate the drug use, smoking, alcohol use, and other addictive behavior?

 When The Addict’s Mom hosted its monthly roundtable, which is now available at 605-477-2199 pin 131099# reference #34, with guest Denny Coates, whose website, www.strongforparenting.com, goes more into detail about the teenage brain, we discussed the many reasons why a teen starts to use alcohol, drugs,or smoke and we came to the consensus that the only way to stop the use is through prevention. Read More→

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