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Addiction: Step By Step!!!!

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Addiction: Step By Step!!!


 In the process of recovery it is important to not only have the addict working a program but also to have the family of the addict working a program. So many times a mother or father will get so caught up in the child’s addiction that they suffer emotionally and physically. To avoid this it is important to put together a program that allows you to be healthy both mentally and physically for you are of  no value to anyone if you are not healthy.  In many cases it is as simple of working your own 12 step program.


  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

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Addiction: Understanding The Addict

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Addiction:Understanding The Addict

by Jonathan Lederman- Media Director- The Addict’s Mom

 When you look at this photo ypu will see that the normal brain has all the synapses in place designed to function and deliver messages properly where ase the addict’s brain has several holes and thus the messages are skewed as the processing center has been damaged. The addict turned to drugs and alcohol for many reasons and to understand the addict you must understand how their primordial brain acts and how their ID and Ego interact.  An addict may feel that they are unloved or picked on and thus turned to drugs and alocohol as an escape or to find acceptance.

Wikipedia defines addiction as follows

Addiction is the continued use of a mood altering substance or behaviour despite adverse dependency consequences,[1] or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors.[2]

Addictions can include, but are not limited to, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, exercise abuse, and gambling. Classic hallmarks of addiction include: impaired control over substances/behavior, preoccupation with substance/behavior, continued use despite consequences, and denial.[3] Habits and patterns associated with addiction are typically characterized by immediate gratification (short-term reward), coupled with delayed deleterious effects (long-term costs).[4] Physiological dependence occurs when the body has to adjust to the substance by incorporating the substance into its ‘normal’ functioning.[5] This state creates the conditions of tolerance and withdrawal. Tolerance is the process by which the body continually adapts to the substance and requires increasingly larger amounts to achieve the original effects. Withdrawal refers to physical and psychological symptoms people experience when reducing or discontinuing a substance the body had become dependent on. Symptoms of withdrawal generally include but are not limited to anxiety, irritability, intense cravings for the substance, nausea, hallucinations, headaches, cold sweats, and tremors. Read More→


Addiction: Let The Celebration Begin

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Addiction: Let The Celebration Begin

by Jonathan Lederman- Media Director- The Addict’s Mom

Instead of champagne bottles popping and making it rain the celebration of recovery will be marked with a small glass of iced tea and a cupcake in a quiet setting for family and friends, said one mother as she was explaining how she would celebrate National Recovery Month in September. Another mother stated “As founder of The Addict’s Mom I will be chosing someone in recovery to honor each day as The Person of The Day at as well as accepting a proclamation from the Town Of Davie. FL proclaiming September as National Recovery Month.

Addiction: People To Celebrate

    Ray Lucas is a former NFL Football Player who has been very open about his addiction to pain killers. Today though riddled with pain he refuses to use pain killers as he is worried about a relapse. Read More→

Addiction: Alcohol Consumption Risks During Pregnancy

By Denny Coates

Denny Coates is a leader in the personal development field and Author of Conversations with the Wise Uncle & Conversations with the Wise Aunt. Denny is also the Creator of ProStar Coach, online virtual gym for personal development. Denny’s commitment to helping people excel is exhibitted in his blog and other writings. Denny is sought after as a speaker and a coach by top corporations and organizations on a variety of personal development topics.


Brain Damage Caused By Alcohol and Drug Consumption – In the Womb and During Adolescence

During the nine months of a mother’s pregnancy, a fertilized egg progresses step by step until the baby is ready to come into the world. This is the most complex and sensitive period of the child’s growth. If alcohol or drugs are passed from the mother’s bloodstream into the womb in the wrong quantity or at the wrong time, the physical development of the child can be disrupted. The consequence is often a newborn baby with physical problems, including abnormalities in the brain.
According to a front-page report from the November 13, 2011, San Antonio Express-News, the Children’s Research Triangle has conducted screening at more than 100 sites nationwide this past year. Dr. Ira J. Chasnoff, a pediatrician there, concluded, “Drinking alcohol can be devastating to the developing fetus. It causes structural and functional changes in the brain. In San Antonio alone, nearly 100 of the 400 women screened were using a substance that harms the developing brain.”

Nationwide, every year nearly 40,000 babies are born with disorders related to use of alcohol during pregnancy. The most serious disorder is “fetal alcohol syndrome” (FAS), the leading cause of mental retardation in the U.S. FAS also causes malformed facial features. In addition, three times as many children again are affected by “alcohol-related neurodevelopmental disorder,” which is a serious form of brain damage marked by behavior and learning disabilities. These children are often misdiagnosed as having ADD.
This can happen if a mother uses alcohol or drugs at the wrong time – when the unborn baby’s brain is in a crucial phase of development. That’s why most doctors caution a mother to avoid using these substances during pregnancy. The consequences can be permanent – tragic for the child and the family. The afflicted child will never be completely normal.
After birth, a child’s brain goes through many more phases of development as the child’s brain gains perceptual abilities, then physical abilities, then language abilities, and beyond. Once removed from the womb and weened from the breast, a child is relatively safe from a mother substance abuse.
Until the child reaches puberty.
The problem is that during the past decade scientists have discovered that a young person’s brain is still changing and developing throughout adolescence. Significantly, the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in analysis, reasoning, foreseeing consequences, problem solving, conceptual thinking, planning and self-management, is “under construction” throughout adolescence. Essentially, the foundation for intellectual thought is being wired during this sensitive 12-year period.
The problem is that this is the same phase of growing up that many young people experiment with alcohol and drugs. All this partying and “sowing wild oats” used to be thought of as a harmless phase that teenagers ultimately outgrow. But thousands of young people are killed every year in alcohol-related incidents. Some escape death, but “get in trouble.” Traffic accidents and teen pregnancy, for example. Many more become alcoholics.
As tragic as these consequences are, there is one more that is just as awful – or even worse – and is almost never acknowledged. Teenagers who drink too much at this time of life can cause permanent brain damage. I’m not talking about the old scare that drinking alcohol will kill off a few hundred brain cells. No, it’s much worse than that. A sensitive period of brain growth is underway, and alcohol entering the brain can dramatically disrupt the growth process. The result could be a permanent degradation of brain function of the prefrontal lobes – the area that coordinates higher-level thinking.
Cruel comments such as, “Old Harold is a couple cards short of a full deck,” are often directed at adults who “aren’t very bright.” We now know that the inability of an adult to connect the dots quickly could have been caused by too drinking alcohol or using drugs during adolescence.
Most people now know how dangerous it is to an unborn child for a mother to drink alcohol or use drugs during pregnancy. What almost no one knows is that exactly the same dangers exist when a young person abuses the substances during the ages from 12 to 24.
If you’ve read this far, you are now  one of the people who knows.
These books coach teens about these topics…
Conversations with the Wise Aunt (for girls)
Conversations with the Wise Uncle (for boys)
Post by Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D., Copyright 2011. Building Personal Strength .


Addiction: Playing The Blame Game!!!

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Addiction: Playing The Blame Game!!!

By Jonathan Lederman- Media Director- The Addict’s Mom



Celebrities like Lindsey Lohan, Macauley Culkin,  and Joey Kovar make the news for problems with alcohol and drugs and quickly viewers start to play the blame game and point fingers at society, at the parents, at Hollywood. People blame the individual saying how with allthat money can you be unhappy and have a desire to turn to drugs and alchol? The answer is not an easy one as to why people choose to use drugs and alcohol or who is to blame, howver let’s start with the parents and see what type of behavior was being modeled?  Now let’s turn to the child and see how they have been treated and how they are seeking acceptance? Many times a child will model the behavior that they observe. Children want to be accepted and if they find a group that is using drugs and alcohol and they feel they fit in guess what they will start using drugs and alcohol.



Addiction doesn’t only affect celebrities it affects everyday people as well as they are seeking to be accepted or to be liked. Some choose to drink or do drugs as they feel it will make their problems go away. The truth is the answer was never found at the end of a line or a needle or the bottom of a glass. We can be quick to point fingers and play the blame game or we can find out the true root of the issue and begin to help the addict, however the addict has to be committed to getting clean and stop blaming others for their circumstances. It is when we become accountable for our actions that we begin the healing process and stop playing the blame game.

Addiction: Resources To help You Stop Playing The Blame Game

 This book and others could be a great resource for you to help you to stop playing the blame game.


  Ask yourself what behavior am I modeling when I am with my child? If you are drinking heavily or using drugs your child most likely will model this behavior. If you are loud and beligerent the child will learn this as acceptable behavior. If you are peaceful,supportive, and kind most likely your child will model this behavior. Think of what you are saying and how it is affecting the child. Ask yourself am I playing The Blame Game?

 When you stop playing the blame game and walk your faith you will see that all the answers lie in you. Many will continue to blame and never take responsibility for their actions until and will continue to struggle. The struggle stops when you stop playing the blame game.




Addiction: Celebrate The Successes

As I saw Court McGee’s  story I thought about the importance of celebrating those who have successfully overcome the gripes of addiction. Addiction is something that you face day to day even when you are clean. The following video tells Court’s Story.It is my hope that this story will instill a modicom of hope for those dealing with addiction.

It is when we celebrate the successes as small as they may seem that we begin to conquer the gripes of addiction. In many cases those affected by addiction are so quick to blame or cast stones of doubt that they lose sight of  the true potential they have to become successful and they beat themselves up and never take the steps to overcome the adversity of addiction because noone has celebrated their successes.

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Addiction: When Does It End?

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Kovar, a cast member of ‘The Real World: Hollywood’ and ‘Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew,’ was found dead at a friend’s Chicago area home on Friday, TMZ reported.

Addiction: When Does It End?

By Jonathan Lederman- Media Director,  The Addict’s Mom-

As I read of Joey  Kovar’s passing I began to think about all the moms who are facing the challenges of having an addicted child and this moms who have lost their child to addiction and what they must be asking, When Does It End? In The United States Addiction had become a pandemic that is often swept aside as fingers are pointed at parents, blame put on the addict, and a lack of true resources. Many year’s agon First Lady, Nancy Reagan, launched a program Just Say No!! If it were just that simple, howeve rit is not as the dynamics are so complex that you must tesr back the onion one layer at a time. There are numerous reasons give for kids turning to drugs, they want to fit in, they are seeking escape from problems and have now where to turn, drugs are glorified in our society.  These factors then lead us to investigate the question When Does It End?


There may not be an end, however there must be a beginning and it starts when we reach out to kids  at an early age and we educate them and empower them and remind them that they are special.  When Nancy Reagan implemented The Just Say No Program people bought into this idea and began to support one another there were commercials and there were classes and parents and children worked together to address the issue of drug use. Communication is one of the keys to breaking the cycle of addiction.


As I thought of communication as away to breaking the cycle of addcition I thought of Jeanne Dexter, who developed the talking jar series to help open lines of communication between children and their parents. Her Talking Jar Series has many components that can be helpful in the communication process. It starats out when eberyone selects and answers the same question. Jeanne recently shared a converation she had with her daughter about forgiveness and the burden of guilt she had been carrying and her daughter opened up and they resolved the issue. The talking jar series could be a catalyst to end the cycle of addiction as it opens up the door for communication.

 This cycle will end when we bring accountability, love, kindness, and forgiveness into the equation. It ends when we realize there is a problem and we stop blaming others and we face it head on. It is when we begin to realize that addiction is a problem created for a number of reasons and that the one way to end the cycle is to be aware of it.

 The serenity prayer is a good place to start when teaching and breaking the cycle of addiction. By having a belief system and realizing that you have the power to change some things and that other things are not changeable for  the only real change you can make is a change in yourself. You can stop behaviors that may be adding to the problem and you will see a vast difference in how you are treated. Try to look at your behaviors and see how they are positivily or negativily affecting the situation and keep the positive and change the negative. The key is to be truthful and committed to breaking the cycle and realize that there is no blame and things happen, however you can move forward by simple using the idea in the past and up until now I had issues with drugs and alcohol and today I make a commit to break the cycle.


Joey Kovar Dies – August 18th

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The Real World Star Joey Kovar died August 18, 2012. He was 29 his friend found a book that he wrote in on Thursday August 17th….see below…beautiful words and deep meaning.



On Thursday, Kovar wrote a string of cryptic final tweets. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us,” he wrote on his Twitter page, followed by “Fall seven times, stand up eight,” “Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb but how well you bounce,” and “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do,” in quick succession.

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Addiction: Don’t Look Back Never Look Back

 The year was 1978 when the rock band Boston delivered a message not to look back. This hit home as I was 12 years old and about to be Bar Mitzvahed and my parents were finalizing their divorce. I began to realize that I would have some major repsponsibilities thrust upon me and that I couldn’t look back that I woul have to move forward. I had many issues fiiting in and finding my niche, however I knew that the key was not to look back.  As the years moved forward I turned to alcohol more and more and then at age 27 the doctor diagnosed me with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and explained much of it was caused by drinking alcohol.  I stopped and now 20 years later can say I haven’t looked back and I haven’t had an alcoholic beverage. I quit without going to meetings or getting into rehab I made a decision and haven’t looked back since. I have realized I can not change what I did but I can begin again and not look back and make a positive impact on my life and as a result make a difference in the lives of others.  The key is to amke the decision to take care of yourself and not to look back. Read More→

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Addiction: You Are Not Alone

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Addiction:You Are Not Alone


Today 1,000’sof mothers across the world will be informed that their child is addicted to drugs and alcohol. They will wonder why this has happened and where are they going to turn. Thanks to an online community they have a place to share without shame, find strength in numbers,and reinforce the idea that they are special. Many of them may feel helpess and hopeless at this timeas they search for the answers, however they will not be alone and will find solace in stories of hope.

When you visit you will find a section You Are Not Alone, where you can find stories and share your story.

The 4 videos show you that youa re not alone and that there are places to turn for assistance like The National Institute on Drug Abuse, support groups like the online community at There are several books about people who have overcome addiction and now lead productive lives.

Mister God, This is AnnaAuthor: Fynn

This book isn’t really geared toward addiction and recovery but it will definitely warm your heart. This true story is about a very special friendship that will definitely make you think and that you won’t soon forget. In a sweet, simple, and beautiful way, Mister God, This is Anna will bring a smile to your face and broaden you spiritually in every way. This story is one you will want to share with someone who may need to be spiritually uplifted.

Addiction: Those Who Have Overcome Showing You Are Not Alone

 Josh Hamiliton of The Texas Rangers has battled drug and alcohol abuse and has been clean and sober for several years and a few years ago won The Home Run Derby. Josh Now Shares his story with others so as to show them the perils that he has overcome and to serve as an example to others not to start with drugs and alcohol.

 Chris Herren is a former NBA Star whose addiction to pain pills  nearly cost him his life. He was recently the subject of an ESPN 30 For 30 movie Unguarded.

 Sir Elton John had a turning point in his life when he met Ryan White, a young man who contracted AIDS after a blood tranfusion. Sir Elton John came to gripes with his addiction and has been clean for over 20 years. He discusses his battle with addiction in his memoir “Love Is The Cure: On Life, Loss and the End of AIDS.”


Robin Williams addictions: alcoholism, previously cocaine was addicted to cocaine and alcohol early in his career, but quit both when friend John Belushi died of an overdose. When he began to drink again, he sent himself to rehab immediately.

Sam Jackson addictions: cocaine, alcoholism completed rehab in 1991, and went on to be a major movie star

Addiction: Resource So You Don’t Have to Face Addiction Alone





Robert and Shelley Founders/Recovery Network


Email: Call: 407-927-4471

Robert and Shelley Founders/Recovery Network


Email: Call: 407-927-4471


As you continue to face the challenges of having an addicted person inyou life or being an addict yourself remember you are not alone. Please share your story under comments.