Jul
10

Addiction: Overcoming The Pain!!!

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Addiction: Overcoming The Pain!!!!

 As I visited www.addictsmom.com I read many stories of the pain that the addict has caused to the mother and other family members. As I read the stories I began to think that there must be a way to overcome the pain and move forward with one’s personal and professional life. The hope of every parent of an addict is that the addict will break free and stop causing pain to themselves and their family. In many cases a parent’s  pain is so great that they shut down completely and become very distant and as a result their life goes into a downward spiral and they begin to suffer physically, mentally, financially and spiritually as they become so wrapped up in trying to save the addict that it only causes more pain for them and the family.

 In dealing with the pain remember you did not create the problem, you can not control the problem, and you can not cure the problem. Too many times I hear a parent ask what did I do wrong? The answer is you did not do anything wrong as you did the best you could with the resources you had. Many times a parent does not want to face the pain as it begins and doesn’t confront the problem until the pain is to great that the parent has to face it.  This comes from FEAR, which is false evidence appearing real. The reality is that as a parent you can not control every choice your child makes. You can guide them and hope that they listen and understand that you know a few things and if they make a poor choice to use drugs or alcohol that you confront them each time with love and show them that their choice is not the best. If they choose not to listen than it is on them. At that point is when you say you will not cause pain to me or our family and set boundaries. If they are under 18 you can send them to counseling and you can do let them know that their bad behavior as a result of poor choices will not be tolerated. Remember it is not your job to be their friend it is your responsibility to shine your light and guide them. If the child is over 18 you give them a choice either straighten up and stop using or leave the house until the time you are clean. This may seem harsh however it is necessary to stop the addict from using you for money and to stop draining you emotionally.

 In making your decision to be tough on your child you will feel pain because of the guilt associated with your decision and the worry of did you do the right thing?  As you stick to your boundaries you will find the pain subsides and in many cases by detaching with love the addict will heal their pain and get help.  Once the addict begins to get help and starts to make progress that is when you can take small steps to reattach yourself and have them be part of your life and the family life.  In many cases the pain of addiction is overcome by dealing with it head on once it rears its ugly head. If you are to help the addict you must cut off the problem at the head and the head is the addict.

Addiction: Tools To Overcome The Pain

 The best tool to overcome pain lies within us as we begin to recognize our divinity and we begin to embrace the greatness that we have to give to the world. It is through the release of our inner power that the pain subsides and we begin to enhance our personal and professional lives.

 In his book, GOD the Father, Mark Link gives the reader a 20 week program of meditations to follow. each day there is a reading and a space to journal. Journaling serves as a great tool as long as you are committed to being honest and addressing the pain and working through the pain.

    Prayer is often a great tool to release pain and find your purpose. Sitting in prayer often lifts the pain and the burden you feel and allows you to become centered and grounded as you face the fact that you have an addicted child.

As I close out this entry I give you this video in hopes that it assists you in overcoming your pain.
 This week  overcome your pain by  finding someone to hug and sharing your story as you continue to heal. Shine your light. Stay Positive!!!

Comments

  1. Brenda harvey says:

    Now what after my son passed away now what all over herion

    • adminbarb says:

      I would recommend a book by Vashon Marie Sarkisian, Finding Joy After Loss. I would also suggest you find ways you could honor your son’s memory. I would also recommend that you continue to share your story so as to prevent the loss of other people’s children. It is when we move forward that the pain subsides.

  2. My prayers to you and your family, Barbara. I also pray for my beautiful daughter, that she wakes up and kicks her addiction to the heroin that has her in its grasp….

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