Jun
12

Addiction: What About The Grand Children?

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Addiction: What About The Grand Children?

     Thank you to Carmen Janet Sanchez of The Addict’s Mom LinkedIn Group for asking me to write a piece about protecting the grand children in dealing with the challenges of addiction. Today more and more grandparents are facing the challenges of raising children because of this epidemic that has come to be known as addiction. The addict has a child but is incapable of raising the child and turn the responsibility over to grandma and grandpa. The challenge for grandma and grandpa is that they know must be the buffer between the child and the addict. The question is how do they protect the child from being hurt or becoming an addict themselves?  This is a difficult task as the child feels abandoned and unloved by his mom or dad. This insecurity brings on a challenge to grandma and grandpa because they do their best to explain the situation but the child still wants that bond with mom or dad. The thing to remember is that children like everyone else are looking for two things love and acceptance. The child may not be able to process the fact that mom and dad love them but aren’t able to care for them at this time so grandma and grandpa will be taking care of them. This dynamic is difficult because grandma and grandpa may be frail and limited to what they can do for the child. The child doesn’t process this and becomes angry and resentful. The child is fragile and needs love and acceptance and to protect them grandma and grandpa must be aware of their feelings and communicate in a loving way.

In some cases it is only grandma or grandpa raising the child. This dynamic is difficult because of the limitations that they may have and this further hurts the child as they begin to feel let down and disappointed. How do you protect them from this disappointment or feeling of being let down? You begin by being honest and up front with them. You monitor their activities and who they hang out with. You take an active role in their life keeping the lines of communication open. The best way to protect the child is to not make excuses for the addict and the addict’s behavior. Explain to the child the situation and what you will be doing to make it better.

 In helping your grandchildren who are now in your care to grow you must get to know who they are, what their passions are, how they feel about their addicted mother or father, what concerns they have. The best way to help them grow and to protect them is to communicate.

Addiction:  Tools To Protect The Grand Children!!!

 To raise your grandchild you must step into your power by knowing you are going to the best you can with the tools you have. You will be able to do this by drawing on your personal strength and showing love thus providing protection to the child.

When we go out into the sun we put protection on so we do not get sunburnt. Think about giving your grandchild addiction protection by educating them about the situation in your family as you face the challenges of having an addicted child. Sometimes it is necessary to cut off ties between the parent and the child until the parent is clean and sober for a certain amount of time. When you do allow the parent to interact with the child set boundaries and observe the interaction as much as possible.  You can educate the grandchild as tot he dangers of  over using and abusing alcohol and drugs, however the reality is that because addiction runs in the family there will be a greater risk of them becoming addicted.

    Books such as these can be a guide to help you in dealing with the fact that you desire to protect your grandchild from the hurtful decisions that your own addicted child has made.

   Using affirmations for yourself and passing them onto your grandchild will build your self-esteem as well as the grandchild’s. Affirmations are a great way to protect the grandchild as they will feel loved and accepted and thus love themselves and thus be able to deal with the situation of having an addicted parent.

Music often sends out a vibration that leads to people being protected as the person feels calm and aware and thus are more aware of the challenges that are in this world.

Guided meditation and prayers like the one that follow can be a great way to protect yourself and your grandchildren.

One of the greatest things you can do is turn to the scriptures and teach them to your grandchildren. This week as you face the challenges of protecting your grandchildren due to the challenges of having an addicted child remember that you are not alone and that you can do the best you can with the tools you have.

  

    
 

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